Owls: Created page with "== What Happened After... == * Junk wandered off into the sunset ** Seen headlines -- he is now an infamous sex offender & thief * Theo set up a GoSpaceMe page & got 7..."

2019-04-27T03:19:21Z

Created page with "== What Happened After... == * Junk wandered off into the sunset ** Seen headlines -- he is now an infamous sex offender & thief * Theo set up a GoSpaceMe page & got 7..."

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== What Happened After... ==
* Junk wandered off into the sunset
** Seen headlines -- he is now an infamous sex offender & thief
* Theo set up a GoSpaceMe page & got 70k credits for a polyhand (RH)
* Popo produced & starred in Veskarrium Rockhard (musical/movie)
** Loose cannon cop
** Cambel Ring that devoured his partner
* Volkas left the team to clear conspiracy RE: eating his wife
** Legal fees left him peniless
** Teamed up w/ merc partner Nacho to open Pako's Tacos
* H4NZ stays with the ASS Spinach Lover to help repair it & drone

== Invitation to New Elysium ==

* Lots of foot fetish stuff in the invite??
* We're on our way to the resort on a Elysium Megashuttle
* Unseen to us, Billy Naise is trying to sell Steinwegren (foot critic) Mayoglide Max
** MULTIPURPOSE! 2 purposes!
** He buys 3
** Naise starts pitching him on joining the pyramid scheme (Mayonettes)
*** Asks about the pyramid scheme structure
*** 10 referrals per level
*** SOLD.
*** "Consider me. A mayonette." in Nixon voice
* Popo says there will be a part 2 for the musical (based on the owner of a taco stand)
** Volkas isn't down with it
* Shuttle is a Ringworks Sentinel
** T5 med explorer, armed luxury shuttle
** Elysia is the AI for new elysium
** We see stuff on the news
** Bonno K. Ronno (#MAAA) was elected PrimeX (mayor??) of Absalom
* Talking to Elysia
** Event is the Grand Reopening, inviting influential people to test it out & give feedback
** They have a new app (Keys to Elysium) they want us to test (we'll get it when we land)
** EVERYTHING IS FREE!
** Phillip Coulsner, Head of Social Media, invited us
*** He is also hosting tonight's festivities
*** AI admits Phillip has a thing for feet
* Theo meets mayo dude
** He tries to sell me mayo lol
* Shuttle is under attack by pirates
** Somebody notifies New Elysium security, they're on their way
** Other ships transmit laughter ... we may be surrounded?
** Captain of our shuttle is apparently one of the bandits
** Billy Naise tries to sell him mayo
* Billy Naise threatens the hijacker with a mayo bomb
** You can hold hostages with your mayo!!!!
** "Captain" is scared
** The secret ingredient is MAYO!
** "Captain" asks to take the shuttle and go
** Billy Naise says no, then SHOOTS HIM IN HIS FUCKING HEAD, killing him instantly.
** Theo approves & buys 3 tubs of mayo to thank Billy
* Another transport being attacked by 3 raiders
** 2 break off to engage us
** Theo uses psychokinetic hand to brush as much of the blood and brain matter off the pilot station as possible
** The Spinach Inquisitiont akes control of the Elysium Megashuttle.
** Billy Naise is not a good engineer
* Goal Runner hails us & tells us to give them what-for!
** Volkas is a fiend w/ the flak turret
** Badly damaged Goal Runner gets away & heads for New Elysium
** New Elysium security craft arrives
* Pirates make a weird comment about maggots and rotting corpses as they flee
* Billy Naise and Popo talk about Popo's new invention, the Slapchop
** Popo sings the slapchop rap
** Billy Naise is not into it
* Billy Naise tries to sell to C.H.I.V.E.S.
** Robot cannot figure out what it would do with mayo
** Robot doesn't want it & Billy breaks down in tears
*** "MY WIFE LEFT ME ... "
*** Name is really Kevin
*** Robot gives him a voucher for spa time to make him stop crying
*** MayoLand Incorporated
* H4NZ checks the ship's computer for info about the New Elysium reopening
** Owns several unusual tourist centers, including Cloud 9 floating in Brethada's clouds
** Good rep, profitable, has a lot of partnered companies to provide services to guests
** The New Elysium asteroid used to be a gas station & they gutted it and turned it into a resort
* We dock w/ New Elysium, there's a glass tower & dome on the asteroid that look nice
** Automated docking system brings us in
** "A plane untouched by sorrow"
** We see a famous Brutaris team, the Absalom Buzzblades (who we saved earlier), in the docking area
*** We get some autographs
** Big Vesk lady flags us down
*** The crew of the Goal Runner!
*** Billy Naise says hello & tries to sell her MayoGlide┬« MAXΓäó
*** Billy gives her a card -- it has no contact info, just "BILLY NAISE - MAYO KING" in big bold letters
* Somebody is waving to us (short halfling)
** Man in suit appears behind him. Has cybernetic right arm.
*** Has an entourage
** This is Philip, he welcomes us
** Kayon Reese is the dude w/ a suit
*** He's CEO of their most prominent partner
** Phillip gives us a 5,000c in company scrip for New Elysium as a reward for fending off the pirates
* Philip takes us for a walk
** Sends us the Keys to Elysium app
** H4NZ tries to scan the app, but Phillip tells him not to mess with their proprietary code
*** Tells H4NZ that he can leave if he doesn't want to use the app
*** H4NZ says he's going to test the security of the app
** Popo presses all the buttons
*** Volkas becomes blurry, green star above Billy's head
** Popo does app tutorial!
*** Popo tracks Phillip in the app because <s>foot stuff</s>
* Volkas blocks Billy Naise
** Volkas just sees a vague blurr in his place & can't hear him now
* Popo demands a foot facial from Phillip
** Philip doesn't have time now & doesn't wanna
** Popo is tracking him in the app and demands he do it later :-)
* 6 PM tomorrow is the gala
** Bonno K. Ronno is going to be there!
* Popo & Philip start having some foot-related sexual tensions!!!!!!!

== Homework ==
* 5,000c in company scrip for New Elysium as a reward for fending off the pirates
* Popo & Philip start having some foot-related sexual tensions!!!!!!!
* Recalibrate my armour stuff to be hawiian shirt themed

Starfinder:Adventure Log/2019-04-26 - Revision history

Owls: Created page with "== What Happened After... == * Junk wandered off into the sunset ** Seen headlines -- he is now an infamous sex offender & thief * Theo set up a GoSpaceMe page & got 7..."