Starfinder:Adventure Log/2019-05-10

I'm doing Billy Naise too, Junk is sleeping

Doing It

• H4NZ rebuilds his drone!
• Popo is spreading gossip about Filip
  • Talking to a PSS guy & says Filip did some stuff w/ Bono K. Rono's wife Lana
• Popo asks CHIVES about their CHIVES network
  • Elysia has info exchange for the CHIVES units
  • Informing Elysia informs all CHIVES
• Popo tells Elysia that some staff were doing improper things at the party
  • Keys app beeps, has complaint form
  • Forwards to Theo for analysis
    • Disclaims liability
    • Forced arbitration
    • Tells Popo its OK
• Billy Naise tries to make peace w/ Vorliynns
  • Offers the PediVac, the world's first mayo-based callous remover
    • Not keen
  • Offers Bionic Trimmer, hydrolic mayo-based hedge trimmr
    • "But does it hurt the plants"
    • "WHO GIVES A SHIT!"
    • "I do" /reblocks Naise
  • Somebody films it, runs over
    • Tries to sell a subscription
    • 100 jars to "Crawler"
      • Contract to ship to New Elysium on-demand signed!
      • 3 Xhoses too!
    • "As a former brothel owner..." - is Billy Naise now an ex-whoremonger?
• Rono K Bono is mad about Filip
• Popo gets disguised as Batman
  • Filip sees Popo
  • DOES NARUTO RUN TO FLEE
• Billy Naise sees Filip
  • Filip tries to cancel the mayo order he made when drunk @ party
  • Billy Naise upsells him MayoGlide MAXXX: Phantom Edition (for when you need the barest mayo flavour on your cock) instead of cancelling
  • Also tries to sell him Cutting Board Lubtricant
    • Steinwergen hears & asks
    • Billy Naise gives him an 8oz sample size bottle
    • Billy tells him about the Mayonette Community Forums
• DatMan (Popo) is running around the resort
  • Real person w/ a 14-movie series about him??
  • H4NZ recognized DatMan is Popo
  • DatMan is here for some tiddies.
  • H4NZ' drone has a tofinkle refridgirator in it
  • Volkas is dumb & thinks DatMan eating tofinkle is normal.
• Ad for Theo plays!
  • The Absalom Albatross of Assets
  • HE'LL WRITE YOUR WILL. REAL TIGHT.
  • Eagle noises play.
  • EAGLES.
  • CHALLENGE OF TRUUUUUUUUUUUTH.
• Vorilynn tells Theo not to smoke in the park
  • Elysia gives Theo a floaty raft to hang out in the water
• Morning dawns
  • Billy wakes up by a pond (BECAUSE MY WIFE KICKED ME OUT), sees refleciton
  • Weird lesion on neck???
  • Uses PediVac, the world's first mayo-based callous remover, to try to remove it
  • DOES NOT HELP. WEIRD DISEASED FLESH UNVEILED.
  • Fells compelled to keep using PediVac
  • Dwarf comes to see what's up, tries to take PediVac away. RESISTED.
  • REALIZES THE WOUND IS NOT REAL!
  • Skin is quite red
  • Billy goes after the dwarf, sell him a PediVac, MayoGlide MAXX, or a Mayonette subscription
    • He gets REALLY mad when I mention the mayonettes and becomes very hostile
    • Billy fucks off
• All the guests are slightly on edge.
  • Volkas and H4NZ speculate that it may be the Golarions coming to take everone away.
• Billy visits 3 people in a room
  • MayoGlide MAXXX will keep your cocktail cold all day!
  • Adds some mayo to a drink
  • One guy is horrified
  • They are not into it
  • They toss Billy out politely
• Volkas uses a GoFlex 300
• Billy Naise meets Bruce the IT dude
  • Pays 10.99 to preorder MayoGlide PROTECC
  • Buys 1 jar of MayoGlide MAXX: Spectral Edition
  • Buys 1 PediVac!
  • Starts doing something gross to his back :/
• Popo strong-arms Filip into another foot facial
  • Billy Naise bursts in and interrupts it!
  • Dr. Sidrani is apparently very intelligent, maybe she'll become a Mayonette!
• Billy & Volkas have nightmares
  • Billy forgot his pants on his first day of sales school & wife bit his penis again
  • Volkas dreams that Golarians were just peasants (:O)
• Billy feels something SPEAKING TO ME
  • Asking me to let it in
  • LETS IT IN.
  • Billy Naise hears his own voice inside of his head
  • LET A SECOND BILLY NAISE IN!!!
• Billy has an unfortunate interaction w/ Dr. Sidrani
  • Ends up lubeing himself up w/ MayoGlide MAXXX and the Mayonge while standing on a table
  • Security comes to intervene
  • Billy is too slow, they stun him before he can shoot :(
  • Taken to a brig aboard a Ringworks Sentinel to cool off, will be released later
• Filip has a black eye
  • Popo wants to pick up where they left off
  • Emotionlessly finishes up ;-)
• Volkas bites glass and eats glass shards???
  • Security insists he visit the doctor
  • Spoogles "Signs of Ghost Possesion"
    • Bad at spoogle
    • Ends up finding a Golarian TV show, thinks the Golarians wanted him to eat glass
• Not-Naise voice enters Naise's head again
  • Beckons to give in
  • Tries to sell the demonic voice mayo, it's not keen
    • It says 'forget' and makes Naise forget about it
  • Two competing Billy Naise voices in Naise's head are all that are left
• Volkas starts noticing injuries
  • Ghosts are servants of th Ancient Golarions
• Theo sees a Mayonge ad!
  • Calls Billy to ask how many of those actually sell ...
  • Thought he saw Billy walking by while he was on call w/ Theo?
• Popo sees an ad
  • Shopping for a dream come true ...
  • When you're shoppin for a dream come true! A little package of some human stew, all depends on who you're talkin' to. Don't you worry bout a thing because you know I got the foods for youu--uuuuu. So you want to eat your wife when she's in her weddin' gown? Well, the law would only try to put you down! That's a migraine and a half I won't put you through! I'm the people merchant! Meats are us! I do the butcher service, with no damn fuu---uuusss!
  • BABY MERCHANT-based ad for
  • PEOPLE MERCHANT, MEATS-R-US
  • BUTCHER SERVICE. NO DAMN FUSS.
  • Ad for Veskarium Rockarium!
• Popo tries to block ads
  • Gets some stuff about corporate partner parnters
  • K-on Reese is CEO of Eclipse Innovations, info about him is redacted
  • Popo asks Theo
    • Theo is stumped, maybe K-on just likes his privacy
  • Popo is SUSPICIOUS.
  • Theo finds some more info about the app
    • Eclipse Innovations made the app, consultation by Romi
    • Theo suggests she go visit Romi
• Popo sees Filip giving someone a foot facial right in the middle of the hallway!?!
  • Popo imagind it. It's just a weird chair.
• Romi says they've tinkered with the app a lot
  • Didn't follow a lot of guidelines ...
  • Did a lot of the initial work on the app tho
  • Popo asks about the CEO
  • Romi has met Reese before, he was a quiet fellow
  • K-ON has a purple suit & a cybernetic arm
    • Think he's from Kuvakera on Verces
    • Native Verthani (advanced planet!)
• Billy nearly assaults Dr. Sidrani, is arrested