Starfinder:Adventure Log/2019-03-08

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We have Scooter from AbdarCorp + Crack Strike Team

Doing It

  • Theo buys another round of buttery nipples + we head back to the ship to rest up before our assault
  • Scooter shit all over the med bay ???
    • Popo goes to investigate the shit smell and finds Scooter collapsed amongst the shit
    • Junk uses the poop stick on Scooter again
    • Popo gives him some water and leaves
  • Joe calls us -- Pact forces are engaging
    • Volkas has containment device
    • H4NZ has the AI glove
  • We head into orbit & we're got 8 escort vessels
    • As we approach Bretheda, we see a MASSIVE battle near the Grinstar -- HUNDREDS of fighters
    • Laserfire isn't huring the Grinstar
    • It's smiling mouth is directed at the moon
    • Step-Mother Ship is engaged w/ Pact & Corpse Fleet vessels
  • HappyCo Transport ship en route to the Step-Mother Ship ?
    • We may be able to use this to get aboard the grinstar somehow
  • Volkas fires the torpedoes and blow's the Step-Mother Ship's face off with CRITZZZZZZZZ
    • Stepmother ship presses a button on its vacuum and DRONESSSSSSSSSSS
  • We see a targetting laser emitted from the Grinstar
    • Targets one of our escort vessels. We let Koffin Joe know
  • Transport is passing by the Grinstar, not docking w/ it -- transport is moving towards the battlefield
    • We are unable to interdict it & it's heading away from us (o shit)
    • Koffin Joe fires on the transport w/ a propelled lance? that teathers his ship to the transport
  • Grinstar fires some kinda big lazer weapon -- it destroyed one of our escorts that didn't GTFO of the targetting beam
  • Popo does Captain Action: Encourage on Scooter to get him to get the fuck off the floor and help us SAVE THE GODDAMN PACT
    • Popo asks him to retrofit the poop stick onto our laser so we can make their pilots shit themselves
  • Step-Mother Ship is a destroyer, v.durable, we probably cannot take it out with what we brought to the battle
    • Volkas fires torpedoes at the vacuum control to try and stop the drones -- but it's not successful this turn!
    • It keeps putting out more drones & our escort are trying to keep them under control
  • Some movement on the transport -- Smiley Robots are now clinging to the hull & cut the teather off
    • Joe does some kinda shock thing down the teather
    • Some of the robots get shorted out and float off into the solar winds~
  • Thanks to great teamwork by engineering, science, and the captain, Volkas is able to DESTROY the drone controls on the giant vacuum
  • We congratulate Scooter on getting the poop-shoot wired into our lasers
    • "Pour it on me boss!"
    • Junk goes and pisses on him.
  • We scan for ships w/ biological pilots
    • Transport has a WMD & is mostly automated
    • It starts to pull away
    • We blow up drones to free our escorts up -- we tell Joe to get some of his guys to board the transport and take control of the WMD
  • Step Mother Ship engages our escort ships in (space) melee combat w/ a giant energy broom
    • Destroys two with one sweep ;_;
    • F
  • Scooter scans the hole (while drooling)
    • Targetting laser
    • THEO FLIES THE SHIP RIGHT INTO THE HOLE
    • PENETRATION ACHIEVED
    • MY BALLS ARE A THIRD LEG.
    • Laser fires just as we clear it.
  • Maze-like interior, we're between the hull & the pressurized area
    • H4NZ shows defense mechanism activating on the scanner
    • Some kind of ... laser sheet? Shield? we're not sure!
    • Volkas LIGHTS THAT SHIT UP and destroys their defenses
  • Volkas EMPTIES the torpedo racks into the Grinstar's inner compartment
    • We make some good progress opening it up
    • The Grinstar is NOW OPEN.
    • We scrape the ship up trying to get through the small opening, but we are IN!
  • We come into a hangar full of robots and fucking chaos
    • Volkas tries to clear the area, but the poop-shoot EXPLODES and fucks Volkas us
    • Volkas is shitting all over the gunnery room
    • We do some damage to the robots though !
    • "WHY DID WE EVEN DO THIS IT DOESN'T WORK ON ROBTOS AGAHHHHHHH -poops-"
    • We yell at Junk to get down to the gunnery console and press ALL THE BUTTONS
    • We're taking damage from the robots
    • Lasers and torpedoes going all over the place, we somehow shoot ourselves?
    • Junk finishes blowing the fuck out of the hangar.
    • LANDING SITE SECURE. We land on a heap of mangled robot corpses.

Homework

  • Boarding party!
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