Starfinder:Adventure Log/2019-04-26

What Happened After...

• Junk wandered off into the sunset
  • Seen headlines -- he is now an infamous sex offender & thief
• Theo set up a GoSpaceMe page & got 70k credits for a polyhand (RH)
• Popo produced & starred in Veskarrium Rockhard (musical/movie)
  • Loose cannon cop
  • Cambel Ring that devoured his partner
• Volkas left the team to clear conspiracy RE: eating his wife
  • Legal fees left him peniless
  • Teamed up w/ merc partner Nacho to open Pako's Tacos
• H4NZ stays with the ASS Spinach Lover to help repair it & drone

Invitation to New Elysium

• Lots of foot fetish stuff in the invite??
• We're on our way to the resort on a Elysium Megashuttle
• Unseen to us, Billy Naise is trying to sell Steinwegren (foot critic) Mayoglide Max
  • MULTIPURPOSE! 2 purposes!
  • He buys 3
  • Naise starts pitching him on joining the pyramid scheme (Mayonettes)
    • Asks about the pyramid scheme structure
    • 10 referrals per level
    • SOLD.
    • "Consider me. A mayonette." in Nixon voice
• Popo says there will be a part 2 for the musical (based on the owner of a taco stand)
  • Volkas isn't down with it
• Shuttle is a Ringworks Sentinel
  • T5 med explorer, armed luxury shuttle
  • Elysia is the AI for new elysium
  • We see stuff on the news
  • Bonno K. Ronno (#MAAA) was elected PrimeX (mayor??) of Absalom
• Talking to Elysia
  • Event is the Grand Reopening, inviting influential people to test it out & give feedback
  • They have a new app (Keys to Elysium) they want us to test (we'll get it when we land)
  • EVERYTHING IS FREE!
  • Phillip Coulsner, Head of Social Media, invited us
    • He is also hosting tonight's festivities
    • AI admits Phillip has a thing for feet
• Theo meets mayo dude
  • He tries to sell me mayo lol
• Shuttle is under attack by pirates
  • Somebody notifies New Elysium security, they're on their way
  • Other ships transmit laughter ... we may be surrounded?
  • Captain of our shuttle is apparently one of the bandits
  • Billy Naise tries to sell him mayo
• Billy Naise threatens the hijacker with a mayo bomb
  • You can hold hostages with your mayo!!!!
  • "Captain" is scared
  • The secret ingredient is MAYO!
  • "Captain" asks to take the shuttle and go
  • Billy Naise says no, then SHOOTS HIM IN HIS FUCKING HEAD, killing him instantly.
  • Theo approves & buys 3 tubs of mayo to thank Billy
• Another transport being attacked by 3 raiders
  • 2 break off to engage us
  • Theo uses psychokinetic hand to brush as much of the blood and brain matter off the pilot station as possible
  • The Spinach Inquisitiont akes control of the Elysium Megashuttle.
  • Billy Naise is not a good engineer
• Goal Runner hails us & tells us to give them what-for!
  • Volkas is a fiend w/ the flak turret
  • Badly damaged Goal Runner gets away & heads for New Elysium
  • New Elysium security craft arrives
• Pirates make a weird comment about maggots and rotting corpses as they flee
• Billy Naise and Popo talk about Popo's new invention, the Slapchop
  • Popo sings the slapchop rap
  • Billy Naise is not into it
• Billy Naise tries to sell to C.H.I.V.E.S.
  • Robot cannot figure out what it would do with mayo
  • Robot doesn't want it & Billy breaks down in tears
    • "MY WIFE LEFT ME ... "
    • Name is really Kevin
    • Robot gives him a voucher for spa time to make him stop crying
    • MayoLand Incorporated
• H4NZ checks the ship's computer for info about the New Elysium reopening
  • Owns several unusual tourist centers, including Cloud 9 floating in Brethada's clouds
  • Good rep, profitable, has a lot of partnered companies to provide services to guests
  • The New Elysium asteroid used to be a gas station & they gutted it and turned it into a resort
• We dock w/ New Elysium, there's a glass tower & dome on the asteroid that look nice
  • Automated docking system brings us in
  • "A plane untouched by sorrow"
  • We see a famous Brutaris team, the Absalom Buzzblades (who we saved earlier), in the docking area
    • We get some autographs
  • Big Vesk lady flags us down
    • The crew of the Goal Runner!
    • Billy Naise says hello & tries to sell her MayoGlide┬« MAXΓäó
    • Billy gives her a card -- it has no contact info, just "BILLY NAISE - MAYO KING" in big bold letters
• Somebody is waving to us (short halfling)
  • Man in suit appears behind him. Has cybernetic right arm.
    • Has an entourage
  • This is Philip, he welcomes us
  • Kayon Reese is the dude w/ a suit
    • He's CEO of their most prominent partner
  • Phillip gives us a 5,000c in company scrip for New Elysium as a reward for fending off the pirates
• Philip takes us for a walk
  • Sends us the Keys to Elysium app
  • H4NZ tries to scan the app, but Phillip tells him not to mess with their proprietary code
    • Tells H4NZ that he can leave if he doesn't want to use the app
    • H4NZ says he's going to test the security of the app
  • Popo presses all the buttons
    • Volkas becomes blurry, green star above Billy's head
  • Popo does app tutorial!
    • Popo tracks Phillip in the app because foot stuff
• Volkas blocks Billy Naise
  • Volkas just sees a vague blurr in his place & can't hear him now
• Popo demands a foot facial from Phillip
  • Philip doesn't have time now & doesn't wanna
  • Popo is tracking him in the app and demands he do it later :-)
• 6 PM tomorrow is the gala
  • Bonno K. Ronno is going to be there!
• Popo & Philip start having some foot-related sexual tensions!!!!!!!

Homework

• 5,000c in company scrip for New Elysium as a reward for fending off the pirates
• Popo & Philip start having some foot-related sexual tensions!!!!!!!
• Recalibrate my armour stuff to be hawiian shirt themed