Starfinder:Adventure Log/2019-04-26
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What Happened After...
- Junk wandered off into the sunset
- Seen headlines -- he is now an infamous sex offender & thief
- Theo set up a GoSpaceMe page & got 70k credits for a polyhand (RH)
- Popo produced & starred in Veskarrium Rockhard (musical/movie)
- Loose cannon cop
- Cambel Ring that devoured his partner
- Volkas left the team to clear conspiracy RE: eating his wife
- Legal fees left him peniless
- Teamed up w/ merc partner Nacho to open Pako's Tacos
- H4NZ stays with the ASS Spinach Lover to help repair it & drone
Invitation to New Elysium
- Lots of foot fetish stuff in the invite??
- We're on our way to the resort on a Elysium Megashuttle
- Unseen to us, Billy Naise is trying to sell Steinwegren (foot critic) Mayoglide Max
- MULTIPURPOSE! 2 purposes!
- He buys 3
- Naise starts pitching him on joining the pyramid scheme (Mayonettes)
- Asks about the pyramid scheme structure
- 10 referrals per level
- SOLD.
- "Consider me. A mayonette." in Nixon voice
- Popo says there will be a part 2 for the musical (based on the owner of a taco stand)
- Volkas isn't down with it
- Shuttle is a Ringworks Sentinel
- T5 med explorer, armed luxury shuttle
- Elysia is the AI for new elysium
- We see stuff on the news
- Bonno K. Ronno (#MAAA) was elected PrimeX (mayor??) of Absalom
- Talking to Elysia
- Event is the Grand Reopening, inviting influential people to test it out & give feedback
- They have a new app (Keys to Elysium) they want us to test (we'll get it when we land)
- EVERYTHING IS FREE!
- Phillip Coulsner, Head of Social Media, invited us
- He is also hosting tonight's festivities
- AI admits Phillip has a thing for feet
- Theo meets mayo dude
- He tries to sell me mayo lol
- Shuttle is under attack by pirates
- Somebody notifies New Elysium security, they're on their way
- Other ships transmit laughter ... we may be surrounded?
- Captain of our shuttle is apparently one of the bandits
- Billy Naise tries to sell him mayo
- Billy Naise threatens the hijacker with a mayo bomb
- You can hold hostages with your mayo!!!!
- "Captain" is scared
- The secret ingredient is MAYO!
- "Captain" asks to take the shuttle and go
- Billy Naise says no, then SHOOTS HIM IN HIS FUCKING HEAD, killing him instantly.
- Theo approves & buys 3 tubs of mayo to thank Billy
- Another transport being attacked by 3 raiders
- 2 break off to engage us
- Theo uses psychokinetic hand to brush as much of the blood and brain matter off the pilot station as possible
- The Spinach Inquisitiont akes control of the Elysium Megashuttle.
- Billy Naise is not a good engineer
- Goal Runner hails us & tells us to give them what-for!
- Volkas is a fiend w/ the flak turret
- Badly damaged Goal Runner gets away & heads for New Elysium
- New Elysium security craft arrives
- Pirates make a weird comment about maggots and rotting corpses as they flee
- Billy Naise and Popo talk about Popo's new invention, the Slapchop
- Popo sings the slapchop rap
- Billy Naise is not into it
- Billy Naise tries to sell to C.H.I.V.E.S.
- Robot cannot figure out what it would do with mayo
- Robot doesn't want it & Billy breaks down in tears
- "MY WIFE LEFT ME ... "
- Name is really Kevin
- Robot gives him a voucher for spa time to make him stop crying
- MayoLand Incorporated
- H4NZ checks the ship's computer for info about the New Elysium reopening
- Owns several unusual tourist centers, including Cloud 9 floating in Brethada's clouds
- Good rep, profitable, has a lot of partnered companies to provide services to guests
- The New Elysium asteroid used to be a gas station & they gutted it and turned it into a resort
- We dock w/ New Elysium, there's a glass tower & dome on the asteroid that look nice
- Automated docking system brings us in
- "A plane untouched by sorrow"
- We see a famous Brutaris team, the Absalom Buzzblades (who we saved earlier), in the docking area
- We get some autographs
- Big Vesk lady flags us down
- The crew of the Goal Runner!
- Billy Naise says hello & tries to sell her MayoGlide® MAX™
- Billy gives her a card -- it has no contact info, just "BILLY NAISE - MAYO KING" in big bold letters
- Somebody is waving to us (short halfling)
- Man in suit appears behind him. Has cybernetic right arm.
- Has an entourage
- This is Philip, he welcomes us
- Kayon Reese is the dude w/ a suit
- He's CEO of their most prominent partner
- Phillip gives us a 5,000c in company scrip for New Elysium as a reward for fending off the pirates
- Man in suit appears behind him. Has cybernetic right arm.
- Philip takes us for a walk
- Sends us the Keys to Elysium app
- H4NZ tries to scan the app, but Phillip tells him not to mess with their proprietary code
- Tells H4NZ that he can leave if he doesn't want to use the app
- H4NZ says he's going to test the security of the app
- Popo presses all the buttons
- Volkas becomes blurry, green star above Billy's head
- Popo does app tutorial!
- Popo tracks Phillip in the app because
foot stuff
- Popo tracks Phillip in the app because
- Volkas blocks Billy Naise
- Volkas just sees a vague blurr in his place & can't hear him now
- Popo demands a foot facial from Phillip
- Philip doesn't have time now & doesn't wanna
- Popo is tracking him in the app and demands he do it later :-)
- 6 PM tomorrow is the gala
- Bonno K. Ronno is going to be there!
- Popo & Philip start having some foot-related sexual tensions!!!!!!!
Homework
- 5,000c in company scrip for New Elysium as a reward for fending off the pirates
- Popo & Philip start having some foot-related sexual tensions!!!!!!!
- Recalibrate my armour stuff to be hawiian shirt themed
