Starfinder:Adventure Log/2018-01-12

Doing It

• Goblins have computer card!
• Gowena offers Meza's (not dead) character to the goblins for food ?????
• See horrifying shit in bridge, head for kitchen
• We find the kitchen & each get a sack of salt
• Volkas fails at throwing salt
• We pour salt on the akata and it dies in a salty heap
  • Theo says "He looks pretty salty about that" and puts on sunglasses. Tierno plays a laughtrack.
• Other akata runs into salt lel
• Gowena throws meat into the bridge and there's some weird ass growling noise
• Volkas smites the remaining akata with his big ass sword thr
• New akata appears, Volkas smites it again
• Log in to computer,
  • The Drift Rock had strange geodes, akata hatched from them
  • Something Else came from the rock and it overwhelmed the ship
  • They opened the airlock to try and kill the akatae
  • They fled along the tow cables to the drift rock
• Find the following in storage room:
  • Odd plastic container w/ electronic lock. No magic detected.
  • Goblin uses a grenade to piece it
  • Transparent coffin inside, w/ feet
  • UNDEAD FUCKER
  • He's being kind of cagey and wants to see the Eoxian ambassador
  • We piss him off and he goes back in his box and we leave him
• Rest of team finds a flame pistol
• Zip down the tow cable to the Drift Stone
• One side of stone is sheared off cleanly
  • Craters are not impact craters!
  • Rocky overhand conceals cave enterance
• Found a ded human
  • Looks like akata bites
• Found a lady with some mirror bullshit and a sniper rifle
  • She was flying the Eox fighter that attacked us
  • I break off dialog when she tells us that and call for Zith's grenades
  • She seems to be in a room with no other exits.
• One goblin fran dies.
• Zith hits her square in the bitch face with a shock grenade, ruining her mirror image device.
  • She is an android.
  • She was paid a lot by a guy who contacted her through secure channels.
  • We secure her arms: Azimuth Laser Pistol, Tactical Shirren Eye Rifle
  • Junk steals her knife: Survival knife
  • The purchaser knew where we were and told the assassin
  • We demand her pants in exchange for her life. She concedes her pants.
    • Removes rest of her clothing and junk tries to put it all on despite the poor fit.
    • OH SHIT IT'S ARMOUR WITH JUMP JETS: Freebooter Armor 1 (Jump Jets)
• Defeated and naked, we tell her to get the fuck out.
  • Other goblin sees her and suicide charges The Bad Lady.
  • He crits her, and then his gun explodes. Both of them die.
• Akata zombie!!!! It's a person with a blue tentacle coming out of its head.
  • We tell Junk this is going to happen to him
  • Gowena engages it with her dildo
• Tierno tells me a story about Mr Happy conceiving tofinkle and taking over the frozen confectionary sector
  • Mr Happy's favorite flavour is LIQUID SMOKE
• The walls are made of rock. I don't recognize it.
  • Light blueish, bits of dust floating around
  • SUPER FUCKING MAGICAL.
    • Southern wall has a lot more magic.
• Tofikle-filled poison darts aww yeah
• Mr Happy is HATED throughout the known universe by communists
• We find a chamber made of metal. There's an interesting console of strange design.
  • Zith accesses the console, and it nearly FUCKING MURDERS HIM by electricity.
  • We pour a bunch of healing shit on him.
• Schematic on console, showing larger structure
  • The Drift Stone's shearing might mean that this was torn off of something
• Found more controls (red) and screen (blue)
  • Psychokinetic hand to push button (it could be DANGROUS)
  • Pressing it makes a sphere with a bunch of dots appear on the screen
  • Schematic of a globe
• Found an ancient spaceship
  • Degenerated, parked but on its side/wing
  • It's a common ship from >50 years ago
  • About the same size as the ASS Spinach Lover
• Also monster with a lampray mouth slurping up some blood
  • It has wings
  • It is extra-planar: an OUTSIDER.
  • Partially phased out of our plane
  • Probably vulnerable to ELECTRICITY
• We hide and I telepath at it, welcoming it to Absalom space.
  • It has a long tongue with which is licks its teeth

Quick notes for next time

• It's vulnerable to electrcity. STUN GUNS AT MAXIMUM.
• We're gunna kill Zith!