Starfinder:Adventure Log/2019-03-20

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Doing It

  • As we enter the priosn, we see rooms
    • Left has a big screen wall that says "NPCs"
    • Top = Main Characters room
    • Right = Max Security
  • Ad on the top screen: Gentle hillside, midieval setting (knights riding horses and shit), "Golari-land"
  • We enter the "NPC" room
    • A bunch of people are absently standing around
    • Junk tries to eat the hair of Tavern Wench & she does not react
      • Junk bites some cables at the back of her neck accidentally
    • Junk continues biting people while we examine the plugged in people
  • Theo examines a terminal
    • Directory of Golari-land NPCs
    • 9 currently active NPCs, but there are thousands registered
    • "Active?"
      • It seems to be some kind of VR thing, so active == they're in the Golari-land sim
  • H4NZ makes a medicine check to see if severing the cable will kill the "NPC"
    • H4NZ believes the machine could harm the people -- it is directly interfaced to their brains
    • Recommends against cutting the cables; could leave them braindead
  • H4NZ suggests finding an admin terminal to release them enmasse
    • We go looking around
  • We find a knight and some kind of necromancer
    • Junk finds no weapons after fondling one
    • Another directory, but for Main Characters (2 active here, but 100 active in total)
  • We find Paul F. Rye strapped into a chair & plugged in
    • H4NZ asks if Paul has been a pawn this whole time ...
  • Junk notices that our names are written on signs above the empty seats...
    • He sits in the chair & gets jacked in to Golari-land
  • Theo examines the terminal. It is very secure.
    • H4NZ and Theo are able to hack through its security.
    • Does not give us access to the other directories
    • Asks for a PW when we try to free Paul F. Rye
      • PW tofinkle / PIN 1234
      • Paul is released
  • Paul is all fucked up a she comes out
    • He was in a tavern and was about to get the shit beat out of him
    • Doesn't know where he is
    • HappyCo kidnapped him and put him here after his failed attempt to betray us
      • Was in Hap-salom City of Golari-land
  • MaxSec prisoners are not invulnerable to pain in Golari-land, but normal people don't feel pain
  • Paul doesn't know who the other MaxSec prisoner is
    • Brain and organs floating in a jar, in a business suit.
    • Call Scooter over, there's an advanced exoskeleton in there
    • No idea wtf the jar is
  • Prisoner is Dr. Itarn Legehirn, same pass/PIN does not let him out
    • Paul says it was a stupid guess
    • I ask Paul what the combination on his luggage is --- 669
    • It's wrong too lol
    • I call Paul stupid
  • I hack the computer harder and get the two encrypted passwords for the remaining prisoners
    • Not enough info tho
  • We don't think blowing the servers up would be a good idea
  • We get into the White Knight's account & a dossier
    • Bio says he's a hero of Hap-salom, greets newcomers, take them on an adventure to destroy Necromancer Nate
      • Undead overrunning Hapsalom
  • He seems to have lost his mind and isn't really a person anymore
  • We tell the White Night that Paul F. Rye works for the necromancer & let the white knight out of his manacles
    • White Knight runs over to Paul and starts beating the shit out of him
  • Release Old Begger and he's fukin crazy too
    • He knows the White Knight and say he's gr8
    • Release all NPCs
    • They're all great
      • Assassin wants to kill Junk Sniksnak
    • We tell the White Knight that this place is full of armoured magic constructs working for the necromancer
      • He should take everyone and go on a crusade
      • The whore Madame Promiscua has a thing w/ the Knight and he doesn't want her in danger
      • The Madame wanted some of Popo until the Knight was like u up ≡ƒìå
    • Most of the NPCs keep walking into walls
    • "You look new, not much of a rind on u ;)"
    • Some of them go w/ the Knight to go kill constructs
    • We give the beggar a scrap of metal and he tries to hit up the whore
  • Suggest Scooter downloads whatever data he can from the sim
  • Inverting the hypotenuse of the triangle decrypts the passwords
    • We're In.
    • The Dr's bio is ULTIMATE NEMESIS
    • Fuck yeah, we need Mr. Happy's nemesis.
    • WAKEY WAKEY
  • He approaches us.
    • GREETINGS. I AM DOCTOR ITAR LEGEHIRN. THANK YOU FOR RELEASING ME.
    • Wants to know what year it is
    • Has been inside sim for 57 years
    • He is happy we're here to murder Mr. Happy
  • Doctor releases Junk faster than I can
  • Doctor was engaged in intense combat w/ Mr. Happy
    • Doctor had robotic minions to fight
    • Mr. Happy used unicorn dust producing bazookas (lol nice)
    • Mr. Happy destroyed some of his exoskeleton with mAgIc and his head fell off
    • Mr. Happy opened his head up and let the fluids out
    • Doctor barely survived :-(
      • Kept him alive, stole his robot tech (o fuq) and imprisoned him
  • Volkas asked about their reletionship before the fight
    • Worked together, Uni collegues
    • (the one in the sun that we met the dude who gave us the degenerator carrying case)
  • Paul F. Rye has bled to death.
    • His head is an unrecognizable pulp
    • Junk collects some Paul F. Rye meat
  • We head into the hallways w/ the Doctor
    • Directory: Server Room & Power Core, Tofinkle Reserve, HappyBot facilities are broken, prison pods are broken
  • TO THE TIFINKLE RESERVES!
    • Metal door, cold cryo mist coming from under the door
    • Has a combination lock, Theo doesn't know wtf this is
    • H4NZ identifies it as a combination lock & we have to spin to win
    • Theo asks Volkas to use FIRE SWORD to fuck it up
    • Doctor offers to help while we think about the best way to fuck the door up
    • Volkas is using his flame doshko like a welding torch
      • Rippin it up
    • H4NZ wonders why he has this insecure shitty door
      • v0v
    • Volkas carves the door open
  • Inside, we see glass vats full of pinkish purplish frozen TOFINKLE :D all labelled
    • Computer w/ lots of flashing neon signs saying "SECRET RECIPE HERE"
    • Doctor says it's obviously a trap
    • H4NZ tries to hack it remotely from the other side of the wall
    • Before the computer explodes, H4NZ is flooded with a HUGE amount of info
      • H4NZ fails will save, mind is filled with pink (missing texture pink) fluid
      • HE KNOWS THE RECIPE but it is driving him insane
      • This substance contains everything in the known universe. It is beautiful.
    • We see H4NZ twitching and acting weird
    • H4NZ rolls a nat1 on his next will save, goes deeper into tifinkle daze
    • H4NZ is back with us, but ... different
    • H4NZ sees tofinkle everywhere.
  • Onwards to the server room & power core.
    • Things start getting hot near the server room
    • We hear LOUD NOISE coming from the other side
    • We enter a v.hot server room
    • We hear Luceille
    • She recognizes the Doctor & is not amused
    • She won't let us in
  • Doctor fucks around at a terminal & unlocks the door Lucielle didn't want us going in
    • Mr Happy uses 'tofinkle' as the PW for everything
  • We enter the power core.
    • Mr. Happy is floating in a weird cloud
    • We were his favorite employees
    • THEN BECOMES ANGRY
    • Metal slams against the door behind us & mechanisms whirr, he locks us in
    • Says he'll disintegrate us
  • Another Mr. Happy slides off the rack of mr. happys, taps on the one in the cloud, and the one in the cloud teleports back
    • He lived on Golarion
    • Wants to forge his empire
  • We engage Mr. Happy.
    • Volkas throws some grenades at the rack of Mr. Happy bodies
    • H4NZ tries to remote hack Lucielle & stop the conveyor or have it drop them all into the abyss
      • He hacks in, but she does not control that conveyor
      • He disables her commlink so she cannot call for HappyBot Reinforcements
    • Popo tries to figure out wtf the purple haze is
      • He knows EXACTLY what's happening (lol nat20) -- Mr. Happy is hopping between bodies (blue aura == active Happy) & any body he isn't inhabiting is much weaker than the one he's in
        • Also senses the magic is draining from Mr. Happy while he is in the cloud
        • Very radioactive and dangerous too, so don't step in it
        • Disrupting Mr. Happy may reduce the radius of the radioactive cloud
      • Popo tries to dispel magic
    • Legehirn obliterates the Mr. Happy body in the center :D
    • A fresh Mr. Happy activates and pisses acid out on H4NZ and Volkas
    • Scooter rolls a nat20 on initative and goes charging into the radioactive cloud
      • He is instantly immolated. The teleportato appears between Theo and the Doctor.
    • Junk shoots the degenerator core.
      • Nothing bad happens
    • H4NZ' drone can enter the radiaiton cloud
    • Doctor is sawing the Mr. Happy conveyor line
    • Mr. Unseen seems to be drained by the energy cloud, but my summoned robot is OK
    • Energy line forms on the degenerator after Theo catches it in an explosive blast
    • Volkas smashes Lucielle with his hammer.
    • Summoned robot is not able to move the degenerator :-(
    • Junk continues firing on the degenerator core.
    • H4NZ's drone takes the degenerator case thing from Volkas and tries to contain it
      • Drone has arms
      • Casing is two halves that need to be put around it
      • Drone makes a dex check .................. rolls a 6 :-(
    • The main Mr. Happy may have an aura that deflects energy attacks?

Homework

  • Kill Mr. Happy
  • Contain the Degenerator
    • Move my summoned robot over to H4NZ' drone and prepare an action to help contain the degenerator !

I have 9 charges left on my shield thing.

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