Starfinder:Adventure Log/2019-04-05

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Doing It

  • Popo throws tofinkle on the floor & upsets Mr. Happy
    • He retaliates with magic: Rewire Flesh
  • Junk is firing on the degenerator like an insane person
  • H4NZ destroyed a Mr. Happy with a crit :O
    • H4NZ' drone contains the degenerator and drags it over to Volkas
  • Dr. Legehirn goes to attack Mr. Happy with some fuckin saws and it's really metal an shit
    • Rip legs.
  • We continue ripping apart Mr. Happy bodies
  • Mr. Happy disintegrates H4NZ' drone by doing 160 points of damage.
    • The degenerator is dropped.
  • Mr. Unseen picks up the degenerator and brings it to Invisible Theo
    • The degenerator is now invisible.
  • Mr. Unseen fists himself for H4NZ
  • Theo gets the Sarumet glove and asks him how long it'll take
    • He's not sure, a while
    • Theo says fuck it, cracks the degenerator casing open, and FISTS IT
    • GREEN ENERGY EVERYWHERE OH GOD
    • Theo's invisibility ends because of all the green positive energy
    • Mr. Happy is NOT AMUSED.
  • Mr. Happy grabs a lot of bodies and throws them at us
    • Mr. Happy manhandles Theo to try and get him off the degenerator
  • Junk: "What is the function of the teleportato?" "it's a potato that teleports."
    • Junk twaps the blue-aura's Mr. Happy with the Bronzed Dong of Dwayne
    • "For penis damage, roll me a 1d4 plus strength."
    • Metal on metal CLANG.
    • Junk has successfully distracted the main Mr. Happy
  • Popo gets the healz flowing
  • Doctor cleaves some Mr. Happies and SHREDS them
  • Mr. Happy hits H4NZ and H4NZ goes down.
    • Oh fuck
    • Theo pours some healing serum on H4NZ to fix him up
    • Theo's hand is wildly fisting the degenerator
      • We think it's going to do whatever it's going to do soon.
      • Junk becomes aroused by this
  • Junk drops his pants during his fight with Mr. Happy and jizzes on him.
    •  ???????????????
  • Volkas crits the everliving shit out of a Mr. Happy (with THREE crit rolls in one attack), smashing the body into the Mr. Happy next to him and doing damage to both
  • Mr. Happies make a desperate last-ditch attempt to stop Theo, but cannot drop him
  • HOT ENERGY EMERGES FROM THEO'S HAND
    • It collapses in on itself
    • The degenerator, the glove, and the energy all disappear
    • I have a ghost hand!
    • Mr. Happy SCREAMS IN FRUSTRATION for considerable time
    • He is too busy screaming to avoid Junk shooting at him
  • Doctor axes Mr. Happy a question & slays the body
    • Mr. Happy is still carrying on cranky
  • Mr. Happy goes to the middle of the radiation cloud thing and drops control of all his other bodies
    • He is going to blow up the Grinstar
    • We should leave.
    • Security doors slammed down
    • Theo starts trying to hack it
    • Junk fucks around with the teleportato, gets frustrated, and throws it at Popo
    • Volkas cuts the door wide open
    • Popo keeps the teleportato
  • H4NZ attempts to remote-hack Mr. Happy
    • From his point of view, the world melts into tofinkle
    • Cackling in his left ear
    • H4NZ aborts the attempt.
  • We flee the HappyCo Server Room & Power Room
    • We find Eoxian soldiers engaged w/ HappyBots
    • Junk tries to shoot one
    • We do not warn them, fuck Eoxians
  • Popo finally cracks the mystery of the teleportato
    • Runes on it are attuned to only teleport the potato
    • Could be modified to teleport other things
  • We avoid a crossfire
  • Eoxian ships have opened the hangar and taken it
    • The Iron Rictus is attempting to dock with the Grinstar
  • The Spinach Inquisition boards their ship without alerting the Eoxian shitheads
    • Theo can't pilot with one hand
    • Junk takes us out
  • As we depart, the Grinstar detonates.
    • Purple waves of energy emit
    • Destroys EVERYTHING in the vicinity
    • We ride one of the energy waves out
    • Shields are fukt
    • Rockin' and a' rollin'
    • Junk is keeping us on course (wowze
  • Theo scans for the Iron Rictus
    • No trace of the ship. No large pieces of debris.
    • Tons of escape pods
    • Mangled corpses exposed to the vacuum of space
    • Pact armada was devestated
  • As we see the wreckage, FADE TO BLACK.
    • News of our deeds has spread
    • Gained an infamous reputation
    • Nobody knows if we're good or bad
    • But we did save the moon!
    • We are now D-List Pact World celebrities
  • After the debacle...
    • Junk wandered off one day and was left behind
    • We receieve an invitation! "Felicitations! Paradise Resorts / 3 week stay / New Elesium / Pamper yourself / Massages / Finest Food / SO MUCH MORE"
    • (complimentary)
    • Grand Gala for All Guests / Meet & Mingle / Make new friend
  • Popo adjusts the teleportato & attaches it to the Augury Device to let it teleport (home?)!
    • We tell the Augury Device of Scooter's deeds
    • It acknowledges Scooter as a hero before it departs.
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