Theo Wattlewaggler
 Visit wattlewaggler-law.com for a free consultation! | |
| Race | Ysoki |
|---|---|
| Gender | Male |
| Age | 30 |
| Class | Technomancer |
| Homeland | Voidborn |
| Alias | Theo |
Theo Wattlewaggler is the Spinach Inquisition's legal counsel, technomancer, pilot, and adult. Prior to joining HappyCo, Theo operated a successful law firm on Absalom station catering to the needs of the elderly, downtrodden, and shady.
Early Life
Theo Wattlewaggler was born to two perfectly-good ysoki parents aboard a starship during a long-term mineral surveying project. The ship was crewed by eight people in total, most of which were humans. Think batshit insane British imperialists in Africa -- hats, monocles, gin, and "tally-ho!".
Two years after Theo's birth, the ship was attacked and boarded by pirates. The pirates were concerned that the three ysoki crew members might slip off and cause mischief in engineering, so they spaced them. When the human crew saw this, they rallied and fought the pirates, killing two and causing the rest to flee.
Theo, being a child, was ignored by the pirates. Since the survey mission had another four years to go, they kept Theo and raised him. Their human tendencies rubbed off on the young ysoki, and being British-imperial-soldier-types, they thought this was Good and Proper. This forms the basis of why Theo is an atypical ysoki.
Given the small crew size, they trained Theo on the ship's controls and the fine art of Drift navigation. Theo loved this and spent as much time as they'd allow in the pilot's seat.
Seizure & Career Change
Theo stayed aboard the ship until it was seized by Absalom port authorities in 296. They accused the ship's captain of skipping out on unpaid docking fees several years ago, impounded the vessel, and detailed its captain -- Theo's stand-in father figure.
The young ysoki did not take this lying down. Still in the throes of adolescence, he employed his small skill in technomancy to "find" documents suggesting the seizure was actually part of a corporate cold-war.
Theo tried to bring this to the attention of the Peacekeepers, but they did not take the young ysoki seriously. He passed the documents to the remaining crew members instead, and they lawyered up. It took the better part of a year, but the seizure was eventually ruled unlawful, and the ship and captain set free.
Theo was enraged by his powerlessness despite having obtained what was (to his mind) solid proof of a conspiracy. When the ship prepared to set off for its next voyage, he opted to leave the crew and spend his savings on an education.
Theo spent the next fourteen years at the Kemanis University on Absalom Station, eventually graduating with a law degree. During the last few years, he worked part-time for another law firm as a paralegal. Upon graduation, he was promoted to junior partner.
Less-than-legal Law Services
While Theo strove to prove that he was intelligent and should be taken seriously by pursuing a law degree, he also saw how ysoki were regarded on Absalom and knew he'd need an edge.
Theo continued to develop the same technomancy skills that served him during his "investigation" into his home-ship's seizure. He also made friends with the local ysoki, including some less-than-legitimate rogues.
He helped out where he could, often altering/forging records to the benefit of his "clients".
In 315, Theo founded Wattlewaggler & Associates, and currently serves as its only partner, as well as filling the role of "various private investigators kept on retainer to assist in discovery".
